i just finished one of the most poignantly simple books i think i have ever read. my small group started "crazy love" by francis chan. the plan was to read one chapter a week, but once i started reading, i couldn't put it down. i think the subtitle summed up how i felt when i finished: "overwhelmed by a relentless God."
the whole concept of the book doesn't really mesh with the God i grew up believing in. in fact, the idea that God loves me so passionately, relentlessly, crazily, seems a little...unchristian. growing up, God was always this larger-than-life character, sitting up in heaven with a sceptre (picture king triton) and frowning when i lied or cursed (which was a lot, especially around age 15). He was the God of Truth and justice, and while i "knew" that He loved me, i didn't quite buy it.
it wasn't until i went to college, and began to form true relationships with the girls that i lived with, that i started to understand what a relationship with the Creator of the universe was all about. i think sometimes that's our main problem. we don't know how to truly relate to others...we don't have deep relationships...and we approach and think about God in the same casual way. it's just a connection, a vague association, instead of a deep and meaningful, intentional love affair.
i was thinking about this tonight while on the phone with one of my dearest friends. she has been one of the most precious gifts that God could've ever given to me, but we didn't just decide to be BFFs overnight. we had to work at it. we pray for each other, ask each other meaningful and intentional questions, and we make an effort to stay in touch. and it took time for us to be completely comfortable with each other.
the fact that i can have the most intimate of relationships with the God of everything, and the fact that He wants one with me, is truly overwhelming. my prayer is that i would continue to passionately pursue Him, fully believing that He relentlessly pursues me.
2 comments:
I found a link to your blog through our mutual friend, Jessica Buczek. Hope it's okay that I'm commenting!
I appreciate your reminder that a relationship with the Lord takes work. Sometimes, if I don't feel close to Him, I arrive at frightening conclusions about what that means. In reality, closeness is directly correlated to time spent together, so when He seems far away, I need to move closer to Him while I remind myself of who He is, not who I have (likely) come to decide He is while I wandered away from Him.
My dad has shared LOTS and LOTS of cheesy (but wonderfully true) catchphrases with me over the years. As I read your blog (with tears), I was reminded of one in particular and reading Jenny's comment hammered it in. He used to say, "Kreeeseee (which is what he calls me), if you're not feeling close to God, guess who moved." Ouch.
Jules, I love you, I miss you, and I am praying for you.
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