...a fleece....

I've kind of been asking the Lord for signs. I'm really not one to do that because I've always had this underlying fear that God will be mad at me for not being spiritual enough. Like I should just magically know things and never question anything. Which sounds ridiculous, I know.

But anyway, the stress of doing something as seemingly crazy as I'm doing (leaving a really good job that I [mostly] love, friends, an awesome church, etc. for the complete and utter unknown with no job, no money, and student loans to consider} has really been getting to me. I think it may partly be because colleagues ask me every once in awhile if I've gotten a job yet, and when I reply, "No, not yet, but I have decided to move no matter what," I get this look. You know, the smile that says, "You're insane. I would never do that." So, I asked the Lord the other day for some assurance. You know, like a fleece, a job, a rich man to pay off my debt, really anything.

Well, today, I insanely printed out my resignation letter, signed it, and was proofreading it again when an email popped up on my screen. It was from a woman in my church that I think I met once, and this is what it said:

Julianne,
I heard you were leaving us! I’ll be praying for you on your next adventure. I did the same thing (many years ago!). I left and went to N.C. to teach, but I felt like I was supposed to come back to Dayton. So I moved back without a teaching job. I did get one, but it was the weekend right before school started. I was quite bummed the week before school when I still didn’t have a job, and I have to admit I kept thinking “Okay, God, I’m confused!! I thought you wanted me here! “ It was funny that I didn’t get called for an interview until the Friday evening before the week of school. It was after 5:00 and so I remember sulking around thinking, “now what?!” I think God made me wait, so I could just learn I had to wait on His timing, because it is always the best timing. I’m sharing that little lesson with you, so that maybe you’ll catch on early and you won’t have to wait until the last minute like I did! Ha!
Thanks for all the serving you did with women’s Bible studies. I’m praying that you’ll soon find where God wants you to serve next.

This woman had no idea that I'd been asking the Lord for something concrete; something that definitively said, "This is the right choice." Now, I'm sure that tomorrow, or this weekend, I'll need another fleece (and I'll still take the rich man). But I'm quite sure the Lord is not exasperated with me. In fact, I think it gives Him joy to assure His children of His love, provision, and protection.

That I know for sure.